Feeling… Excited, guilty, and some pain. The baby went on a nursing strike last week and I lost most of my supply. I could have worked really hard to get it back but I chose not to. So we are done nursing (he’s 10  months old). I’m excited to not feel so tied down; I’m feeling guilty I didn’t try harder to make it until he was one; I’m feeling too full and hoping the last of this milk will go away. My favorite old lady in town told me that if I drink a sage tea it would finish drying things up and I just might try it. What am I looking forward to most with my new found freedom? Volunteering in Macey’s classroom. I was super pregnant or had a newborn all last year, so this year is much better for me. She asks all of the time if I can come and I’m excited to finally say yes.

Thinking… I should have went on vacation when I had the chance! We’ve been planning since January to go to Italy for 2 weeks in early October to visits our best friends from college who juts moved there. I’ve been squirreling away all my blogging and Farmer’s Market earnings for the trip; when it came time to purchase tickets a few weeks ago I just couldn’t do it. It felt like too long to leave the kids. The baby wouldn’t even be one yet and I thought I would still be nursing (little did I know!). A few days after we decided to wait on Italy someone from Beaches resorts in Jamaica asked if Thomas and I wanted to come for a long weekend to review the resort and then blog about it. It wouldn’t have been totally free but it was still a super discounted trip. Again, I said no thanks. Now I’m kind of kicking myself.

Watching…my babies grow. New clothes get purchased, hairs cuts take place, and traditional early morning first day pictures are taken. Something strange happens inside of schools on the first day of school because I swear that my children age leaps and bounds that day. They come home different older people. I love it as much as it pains me. Growing up is tricky like that, isn’t it?

Reading… Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life by Glennon Melton. Emily from One Lovely Life recommended this book early in the summer and I bought it that day. I’ve seen and read one of Glennon’s essays before – Don’t Carpe Diem being one of them. And then I read that same essay, in the book while I was sitting in the sunshine with a warm quilt under my legs at the park with the kids. They were laughing and chasing and I cried happy hopeful tears while reading that essay yesterday after school. Don’t worry, we were the only ones at the park. I’m a visual person and having the book in my hands and seeing the words on the page was a much different experience for me than reading them on the computer screen. It’s a keeper friends. The book is a compilation of essays so it’s one that I keep in my bag for when I have 5 minutes here or there to read.

This was one of my favorite quote from yesterday’s reading session.

Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it’s hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she’s not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn’t add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it’s so hard means she IS doing it right…in her own way…and she happens to be honest.

Parenting is hard and maybe, just maybe, I’m doing it right in my own way. I needed that yesterday.

Excited… to finally tell you our big news. We. Bought. A. FARM!!!!!! We’ll, it’s not quiet a farm yet, but it’s 7 acres, a pole barn, an orchard, and a dream. I owe you more details but there aren’t really more to share. Six of the seven acres are alfalfa fields, we’ll plan our forever home this winter and start building our dream house in the spring. And as much as this pains me to say, The Shanty is for sale. The Shanty will forever be our first love, but we didn’t realize we had such big farm-colored dreams when we bought it. Our seven acres is out of town and just what we need to feed animals, bellies, and souls. It’s very literally a dream coming true.

Missing… my grandma. She flew out to visit in July from Indiana and we loved every minute of her visit. Every time I say goodbye to her I worry it will be the last time I see her in this life. She’s on my list of top 5 people who have influenced me the most in life.

Wondering… if I have any natural options for birth control and my monthly visit. Did I really just write that?! Oh yes I did! I almost asked this question on facebook and then decided I’d wait and ask here. I haven’t taken The Pill since before my oldest was born and I’ll never go back to it… it’s just not for me.  And tampons are pretty chemical filled. I’d love to know if you have any thoughts for me. Feel free to email me if they aren’t comment material 🙂 blessthismessplease at gmail . com

Working… on all things pumpkin. I’m planning a pumpkin week sometime soon and my kitchen smells that part.

Proud…of my family, Thomas especially. He’s been working without pay for almost 2 years to design, plan, engineer, build, stock and OPEN a hardware store with his dad and brother-in-law. It’s been a labor of love with many many many long late nights, but I’m so beyond pleased to announce that they passed their inspection and got their occupancy permit this week. After a little more cleaning they will have a “soft opening” on Friday. Soft opening means that you can come in and buy things but there’s still things to do. We have to get a checkout lane up (the store is connected to the grocery store that they already own, so people can just check out and pat in the grocery store right now), the paint mixing machines all figured out, and other details like that figured out. But by most accounts it’s ready for business! We’ll do a formal grand opening in October, but a soft opening is a bigger deal to us.

Wanting… to be magically transported back to the deli I worked at during high school in Columbus Indiana, just for lunch. I crave The Big Cheese Special always and it is sounding especially good lately.

Wishing…I knew what to do with my hair. Why is hair always something that matters? Mine has lots of gray because I don’t dye it and is at the weird middle stay between long and short. I either need to commit to growing it out or chop it all off. I’ve even thought about perming it again. And because I can’t make a decision it just goes in a pony tail every day.

Here it is in its curly days. Hello Throw Back Thursday! June of 2005 at my sister’s wedding reception.

Eating… Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls. Oh yes friends, they are even better than they sound. It’s a small batch recipe (makes 12 perfect rolls) and they are done in 1 hour. Recipe coming soon. Be excited. Very excited.

Drinking…water. I’m boring like that, but when you live in the mountains the water is really really good.

Loving… how close I am to finishing my ebook. My friend Becca is designing it right now! I can’t wait to show it to you all, it’s going to be a gorgeous resource that I know you’ll love. I’m also loving my Etsy shop! It’s so full and pretty right now. Did you see the fabric chickens and homemade lip balm?

And there you have it. A few TMI posts and exciting announcements today. Hope your day is great. Thank you so much for being here, reading, let me share parts of my life with you, and for being great. I like you.